Your happiness is My happiness
by Ayou
Summary: based on a true story.. yeah..i dunno why the heck did i make an angsty oneshot? i have no idea too..
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I dont own Mai-HiME.. sunrise does.. if i did, then, sergay and tate wouldnt even exist in that anime.. wahahaha!

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It's already two in the morning yet here I am, still staring at you. Being able to look at you like this, without me worrying of being caught is pure bliss. I know this moment will only last until your beautiful eyes open, but for now, I will cherish this till it lasts. It was five years ago when I first met you. I didn't feel anything for you then, you were just another person whom I would share my apartment with for the next four years. However, as time goes by, this changed. Somehow, you slowly worked your way, into my heart.

I hate you for being almost perfect; it only enhances the flaws that are in me, making me feel that I don't deserve you even more. I hate you for everyone likes you; knowing that everyone else desires you, not only me. I hate you for being nice; I had no reason to feel anger towards you, not even a little bit. I hate you for wearing that mask of yours, even wearing it in front of me, making me feel that you don't want me to know the true you. And I hate you for making me feel this way, even I know in my heart that you can never be mine, I still keep on hoping, even if it hurts.

I smiled when the day you told me you found someone. I said I was happy for you but my heart is being torn into pieces with every word you say related to "him". I tried listening to all your stories, even if all we do talk about is "him". I bask in a simple joy of you being around, talking, and sharing your happy moments with me, even if I'm not in it. I smiled when you accepted the heart chocolate I made you for valentines even if you just placed it on the table for "he" has given you a chocolate cake and the two of you are going to eat it together. I smiled during the day of your graduation. I gave you a hug, even what I really wanted was to give you a kiss. Finally, you are leaving me. I held back my tears for you always thought that I was a tough cookie and crying was not my thing. But the truth was, I desperately wanted to cry. Cry my pain away, cry as I watch "him" hold your hand and take you to "his" car, take you away from my life.

Now, you came to visit me, I cleaned my apartment for two days but you don't seem to notice. The moment we started a conversation, we talked about "him", again. I just pushed the hurt aside and tried being happy, just seeing you here with me is enough to overcome the pain in my heart.

And at this very moment, my heart beats wildly as I gaze into you beautiful face. The face that has captivated my heart and has plagued my dreams for so long, I know you can never be mine, but I have always been yours from the day I met you. I love you so much that now I'm letting you go, still, my heart belongs only to you.

You stirred from your sleep and you slowly opened your eyes. I quickly pretend to be fast asleep, a little sad that the moment has finally ended.

"Good Morning Natsuki" you said as you tried shaking me to wake up like you always do. I opened my eyes and was greeted with your wonderful smile. Why? Why can't I ever have that smile all to myself every time I wake up? But it doesn't matter anymore, as long as you are happy with "him", then I am contented.

"Good Morning Shizuru"

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hope you like it.. this is actually based on a true to life experience.. hahaha


	2. Chapter 2

i dont own mai hime/mai otome

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The sun slowly rose up to shine to a new day

The sun slowly rose up to shine to a new day. Its rays hit my eyes, as if telling me to wake up and get ready for the day ahead. In fact, I do have something planned for today. Today, I'm going to visit you. It has been a while.

I stepped out of my pajamas and headed towards the shower. I was excited for this day to arrive. I always wanted to know everything that is happening with you. I wanted to be the first one. I wanted to be only one.

We have known each other for so long. It has been five years. Five wonderful years that we have been together, I couldn't be happier. We would always be together. We would always make it a point to eat dinner together since we have different schedules. I like watching you eat. How you face contorts when you don't like the food, or how you gobble up everything when you find it tasty. It never fails to make me smile. I hate it when we seldom see each other as our subjects have become harder. I would only wake up, finding that the bed in front of me is neatly arranged with your note for me on top of it. I really like how you write my name on the letter, always followed by a heart.

I don't know why I always get angry when I see you talking happily with someone else. I easily get jealous when someone else touches your hand or makes you smile. I always wanted your attention. I wanted you to look at me, only me.

I'm sorry for getting mad at you during our induction ball when you said you couldn't come. I was only thinking about myself and not about what you had to sacrifice just to be in that ball. But even so, you came. I don't know why, but I felt my heart skipped a beat when I saw you. You were beautiful. My anger vanished the instant you looked and smiled at me.

I am happy just being with you. We were inseparable. Then, he came along. He said he likes me so I tried spending time with him. Turns out, he is a great person and in no time, I fell for him. I am so happy when you said that you were happy for me. I wanted your approval.

I remembered during Valentine's Day when you gave me a heart shaped chocolate. I wanted to eat it right away but I don't want to appear so eager. Then he showed up and asked me or rather begged me to eat the cake he bought with him. It was delicious but nothing compared to the chocolate that you gave me. I ate it after you left.

You smile a lot every time we talk about him, saying that you were so happy for me. That only makes me want to talk about him to you more, just to see you smile more often. But is it just me or I saw something else behind those smile.

During graduation, I wanted to cry my heart out. I don't want to be apart from you. Your smile makes my heart ache more. Why were you happy when I was with him? Do you want to get rid of me that bad?

As time went by, I discovered two things. One, I do not love him like I thought I did. I was just happy with the idea that someone likes me. Two, I fell in love with you. You, that makes my whole life worth living. You, that only thinks about my happiness. And you, the only one that could make my heart beat so fast. With you, I feel like I could do anything. You make me whole.

I put on my best clothes, wore the perfume you said you loved. I had to look my best when seeing you.

I was somehow disappointed when you asked me how were things between him and me. I wanted to talk to you about something else, not him. But I did anyway, seeing how you smile at my story. You cleaned your apartment, I could tell. The crumpled papers that always lie on the floor are gone, even the clothes that you usually just toss anywhere are neatly folded. But I didn't say anything, you were more interested at my story, staring intently at my face.

Now, as I lay down next to you, I can tell you were awake even when my eyes are closed. I know, how you breathe is different. I pretended to stir, and confirmed my suspicions when I felt you scramble to lie down and pretended to sleep. I opened my eyes and greeted you.

"Good Morning Natsuki"

I shook you awake like I always do and as you opened your eyes, I gave you my best smile.

Seeing you right now makes me very happy. And hearing your voice first thing in the morning makes my day complete.

"Good Morning Shizuru" you say. Something in the way you look at me right now is different. Maybe.. just maybe.. you feel the same way too.

Yes, today is going to be a great day…..

Because today, I finally made my decision…..

Today, I'm going to tell you, that I love you. "_My Natsuki_"


End file.
